Sicangu News

My Mother was my best friend. She was a devout Catholic girl from the boarding school era and never ever complained about being abused. She attributed her experience in boarding school as one that helped her achieve an admirable level of self-control. I believed everything my Mother told me.

She played basketball and was a cheerleader while in high school. She once told me her high school nickname was “Creep” because she had the ability to just creep away when in a group of friends who would sometimes find themselves in trouble with the priests or nuns. She never got caught! She graduated from St. Francis Mission High School in the 1950’s and earned a college degree from Sinte Gleska University in the 1980’s. I remember I was proud of her when she received her college degree. My Mother always encouraged me to continue my education.

When my siblings and I were small children, our Mother would take us shopping and spend her entire paycheck on new clothes for school. I remember her washing our clothes in one of those wringer washers and hanging them on the clothesline. Each school day she would lay out our clean clothes for us. We lived in the country so she would drive us to and from school every day so we didn’t have to walk. She always made sure we had enough food to eat. My Mother made sure we had the things we needed. My Mother loved my siblings and me.

I remember one Halloween when she made our costumes all by hand. My sister and I were dressed like hobos; we even had those little sticks with the sack of hobo belongings dangling from the end slung over our shoulders. She spent a lot of time sewing patches on some old clothes we had. I was very small but I remember we won a prize at the costume contest held at the old St. Agnes Hall in Parmelee.

My Mother always put her children first in her life. She always acted in our best interest. If we needed something she would find some way to get it. She encouraged me in all my endeavors. No matter what I wanted to do, my Mother allowed me the freedom to live my own life and make my own mistakes. I am the person I am today because of everything my Mother taught me. She was an excellent role-model.

I remember when I decided to attend a big university in a different state and my entire family tried everything to discourage me from going. My Mother was the only person who was supportive of what I wanted to do with my life. When the time came to move she helped me load up her car with all my belongings and then we drove all night to get there. She even loaned me money to pay my summer school tuition because I could not hold my classes without paying first and my financial aid would not disburse a check until the first day of class.

My Mother had a great sense of humor. She confided a lot about her life to me. She always gave me good advice. When I was a teenager she was very supportive of me. She came to all the school activities I participated in. Sometimes I thought she was a bigger fan of the basketball team than I was! I also remember how she glowed with pleasure when people would ask us if we were sisters.
Next month it will be 24 years since my Mother made her journey to the spirit world. Her passing left a major void in my life and I still miss her. You do not know what it is like to be without your Mother until she is gone. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Take the time to call your Mother or, better yet, go and see her in person. Give her a hug and tell her you love her. Fix her lunch or take her out to eat. Buy her flowers. Tell her you appreciate everything that she has done for you.

If you and your Mother are not on speaking terms, find it in your heart to mend whatever rift is between you. She made the choice to bring you into this world. Honor her for your life!

Tiny Tot Dancers enjoyed themselves at the 29th Annual He Dog Wacipi. Lakota culture is important to mental health.

By Vi Waln

The 2014 National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day is on May 8th. It is up to all of us to help the children and young people in our lives enjoy mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health.

Good thoughts take effort. A safe environment will help young people to think positive.

Also, ensuring that our families have enough food to eat is very important. The Indian Reservations of South Dakota have consistently topped the list of the poorest counties to reside in for many, many years.

Yet, as Lakota we have one of the strongest support systems in the United States. Children will have a better chance of finding a meal when they are surrounded by relatives. Many of you feed several children on a daily basis. Other families also share meals with their children’s friends on weekends. Getting enough to eat is important to not only physical health – it is also important to our mental, emotional and spiritual health.

But there are other families living on our reservations who pour all of their resources into feeding their addictions to substances like alcohol or drugs, gambling or unhealthy relationships. These are the families in which the mental – as well as the physical, emotional and spiritual – health of the children is lacking. Some children have been taken from parents who cannot cope with their addictions.

There’s an active lawsuit against the Department of Social Services (DSS) for taking Lakota children away from their parents and placing them in non-Indian foster homes. I don’t believe Lakota children should grow up with non-Indian families. Sadly, until we see more Lakota people step forward to become licensed foster parents, this atrocity will continue.

More of our young people could pursue social work degrees after high school. Many of the workers at the DSS offices on our reservations commute from border towns. The handful of educated Lakota social workers we do have are overloaded with cases involving our children.

Our tribal leaders talk a lot about contracting services currently operated by federal or state agencies. Why not contract DSS? It’s awful when tribes refuse to allow the state’s highway patrol officers to come on our highways to make arrests, yet we’ve handed jurisdiction over our children to state social workers who come upon our land every day to make decisions affecting our lives. There is just something terribly wrong with that picture.

I often wonder what growing up in a wasicu home does to the mental health of a Lakota child. We all know how good the Lakota people are at ostracizing our own relatives. Many of these same children will be snubbed when they come home as adults.

It isn’t very good for an individual’s mental health to be rejected by your own people.

Kudos to sober Lakota families residing in South Dakota and working hard to provide healthy environments for their children. You have everything to do with the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of our children.

The Rez needs more like you.