It’s actually none of your business what other people do. Holding a grudge against someone else for behavior that’s long in the past or behaviors that you have no control over, is very unhealthy and you deliberately role model bad behavior to others and your children when you act like this, especially at ceremony time. Ceremonies often include more than one ritual, for instance at the Sundance many families do the Hunka or name-giving ceremonies for their children or other people they want to honor.
When you don’t agree with what the people at ceremony are doing, then you should just stay away. Stay away from all the ceremonies if you have bad thoughts of resentment or anger from a past incident or current behavior of the person you’re angry at or that you or your family member was involved with. When you carry negative energy, you’re going to affect people at the ceremony. Also, your energy you carry is bad medicine and will eventually affect you and your family.
I’ve written about the power of monitoring your thought process before, but it’s really important to be aware of your thoughts all the time and more so during ceremony season, as people are out in the intense heat sacrificing without food and water, praying for health for all the Oyate. It’s just really disrespectful and does harm when you show up with bad thoughts, anger, resentment or jealousy it’s not good. It affects our children and elders. It affects everybody in the ceremony, because whether you believe in the power of your thoughts and energy or not, we can definitely feel your energy.
I don’t like to be around people who are mad at someone and they just let it show to the whole world that they’re angry. They’ll talk about or post on social media, openly sharing their anger at someone because of something they did to them or their children or their grandchildren or their cousin or their auntie or someone who’s related. You give away your power to feel any kind of happiness or joy when your carrying negative energy, it’s not right!
Monitoring your thoughts is a way to be healthier. Another thing is to find ways to process your anger in healthy ways instead of hanging onto it and letting it affect you every time you see the person that your anger is directed at. This whole thing of generational grudges is really ridiculous. I mean some of us are trying to heal our families of the inter-generational trauma or the historical trauma that are people carry and then there’s people like you who just insist on carrying that trauma on and on and on with your bad thoughts and your bad feelings and mean words.
Maybe you could use that phone you’re holding to research emotional intelligence and try to pick up some of those behaviors instead of just being angry all the time and letting all the people know why you’re angry; just stay away from ceremony!
None of the folks at ceremony want you there carrying around anger and bad thoughts. It’s is just as bad as showing up under the influence of alcohol or drugs, we don’t want that at all. I pray for all my relatives to find their way back to the circle, but please stay away if you’re actively feeding your bad energy, we can feel it. You emit your rage like a bad body order.
Your energy is the same way, we can tell, we can feel it so if you’re going to go to a ceremony, clear your minds and hearts of your unresolved anger so you can go pray and support the people who are in the ceremony. Inipi is an excellent place to start. If you don’t like anybody at ceremony to begin with, just stay far, far away.
“I have learned that the point of life’s walk is not where or how far I move my feet but how I am moved in my heart. If I walk far but am angry toward others as I journey, I walk nowhere. If I conquer mountains but hold grudges against others as I climb, I conquer nothing. If I see much but regard others as enemies, I see no one.” ~Anasazi Foundation, The Seven Paths: Changing One’s Way of Walking in the World
Image by Wakeah Jhane
















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