It is up each individual to make their life into something. We cannot depend on fate, luck or coincidence. We have to depend on ourselves. All our choices are personal.
I only have this one short life. It will only be as good as I make it. I do want my life to be the best it can be.
I used to believe I had no control over what happened to me or that my life was not simple. There were so many complications, problems and things other people did that seemingly ruined what I wanted. Still, I’ve learned none of the events which take place in in my life depend on what anyone else does. My life depends completely upon my own choices.
Some choices we make as individuals might follow us for the rest of our lives. If we choose to commit a crime, for instance, we will find ourselves in jail sentenced to spend some or a lot or the rest of our lives confined to a small room. We live with the choices we make. It is our own fault.
My psychic told me I am despised by many because I do not sugar coat the truth. I am a writer who believes my readers should know about the topics I address here. But when I write a hard column about crime, I am immediately judged as someone who wants to see all my people locked up for life, which isn’t true. I write about what is real here on my rez based on events which happen to actual Lakota people. Thus, I am sometimes attacked by people who don’t know me. They might trash me through emails and posts on social networking sites but not one of them has come to me personally to say to my face what they can so easily type from behind their computer screens.
Also, I write some tough pieces on domestic violence and stalking which always strikes a painful nerve. Have you seen the documentary called “Rape on the Reservation?” People who don’t agree with what I put forth should watch this documentary about Rosebud because it shows the reality of life on the rez. It portrays what we have to deal with on a daily basis.
I have built my personal foundation upon the belief that my own thought and speech determine my reality. Our individual ideas are born within our minds; are they not? Discussing ideas with others helps us to formulate a concrete beginning for something new. Every thought I entertain has the potential to be verbalized and brought into reality.
I was once a victim. I would think long and hard about all the wrongs that befell me, my parents, grandparents and the rest of my ancestors. I used to believe it was the fault of the church that our language is ebbing away. I felt it was the fault of boarding schools that there was such a devastating breakdown in our familial system. I blamed our addiction to drugs and alcohol on the wasicu who introduced his poison to my tribe.
Then I reached a point in my life where I transformed those weak thoughts into stronger ones. This process began some time ago when a friend suggested to me that I monitor my thoughts. I really did not understand what she meant. When I asked for clarification she simply said to monitor my thoughts. She wanted me to figure it out for myself.
So began the monitoring. I would think something and then try to honestly examine the thought. Does that make sense? It didn’t to me at first but the more I engaged in the monitoring the easier it became. I had to be honest with myself in order to recognize my thoughts for what they really were: judgmental, angry, jealous, manipulative, hypocritical, arrogant, dishonest and uncontrolled. My thoughts were bad medicine.
When I stopped to examine what went through my mind it surprised me. I had an extremely undisciplined mind. I always viewed myself as someone who didn’t have any bad thoughts until I truthfully what was in my private mind. It was quite humbling to realize how crippling my thoughts really were.
After continuously engaging in this thought monitoring process I can now recognize those dark thoughts when they come. It takes great discipline to transform some of the thoughts we have. Are you addicted to negative thinking? It is the nature of the disease of the mind; to think ugly thoughts about someone is akin to projecting bad medicine upon them.
I cannot say that I don’t have negative thoughts anymore. Still, years of work to release the diseased mind syndrome has helped me improve my perspective. The quality of a person’s inner thought affects their energy on every level. How do you feel around a negative thinker? How different do you feel around someone who is always upbeat? It all goes back to what is in our minds. Change your thoughts and you will definitely transform your life.
You alone are the one responsible for what you think. Some people proclaim they are set in their ways or their thought patterns. I cannot change the way you think but I can tell you that it is never too late to change your thoughts.
I will continue to write thought provoking columns for you to read even though it is quite apparent that some of you can’t handle them. I can share with you what has helped me come closer to true happiness in my life. If I can help just one person see how crucial their thought patterns actually are then all the bad medicine continuously projected from the minds of my critics is worth it.
I will keep writing about real issues to make you think. Will you monitor your thoughts? Try it for a day and see what you think. You may be surprised. Thanks for reading my thoughts.